Revolting Limbs

My legs are revolting. Last night, while I was asleep, I suspect they climbed out of bed and sneaked a peak at my diary. Somehow, they have discovered a dreadful truth which I’ve attempted to hide from them. Due to an astonishing series of conflicting dates, I’m not going to compete in three mountain marathons. My legs are in a huff.

The Highlander takes place this weekend based in Strathconon in the north of Scotland. A shoulder injury earlier this year prevented me doing enough training and I’m disappointed to be missing the first running of this new event. The legs are angry. They haven’t spoken to that shoulder for weeks, but that’s a different story.

The Original Mountain Marathon is the last event in the MM calendar. It’s still better known as the KIMM, the Karrimor, but even as the OMM it always takes place on the last weekend in October. Unfortunately, that’s the same weekend as the Scottish Canoe Association’s Perth Paddle-fest.

This year I’ve decided to go to Perth, partly to record podcasts for and also to promote a couple of radio programmes I’m making which involve an element of sea kayaking. The arms are happy, the legs are furious.

They’d also been looking forward to the LAMM in the middle of the year. It would be the first time I’d run this event, but now I find all my limbs will be heavily involved in recording radio programmes. And to add insult to injustice, the Scottish six-day orienteering events clash with our paddle trip to Norway.

So I am confronted with a leg rebellion. “What’s the point of pounding miles around the streets of Glasgow”, they demand to know, “when we're not entering an event?” My legs are very goal-oriented. “And why”, they ask, “must we put up with getting cold, wet and tired every weekend on the hills of Argyll? Do you think we think this is fun?” They’re considering a sit-down strike.

“There’s still the Saunders, the Capricorn and the Phoenix”, I reassure, encouraging them to slip into a pair of Inov-8's. They’re not listening. They’re going out to the pub, muttering something about getting legless….

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